英语幽默笑话小报
So the new pilot thought about it. He was a little bit skeptical, but finally he said, "OK, since you did it last year, I guess this year we can do it again." Then he loaded the two buffalos and a few other animals in, and the plane took off. Five minutes later, it crashed in a neighboring area. The three men climbed out and looked around, and one hunter said to the other, "Where do you think we are now?" The second one surveyed the area and said, "I think we're about one mile to the left of the place we crashed last year."
因为他们这样抗议,所以那个新飞行员想了一想后,尽管还是有点存疑,最后还是妥协说:“好吧!如果去年可以做到,今年应该也可以。”所以他装了两头水牛和一些其他的动物。结果飞机起飞五分钟后,就坠落在邻近的地方。这3个人从飞机爬出来看了看四周,其中一个猎人对另一个说:“你认为我们现在在哪儿?” 那个人瞧了一下,说:“我想大概距离去年坠机的地方西边一英哩远!”
Pig or Witch 猪还是女巫
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!" The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "WITCH(女巫)!!" They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road. If only men would listen.
一个男人在一条陡峭狭窄的山路上驾车,一个女人相向驾车而来。他们相遇时,那个女的从窗中伸出头来叫到:“猪!!”那个男的立即从窗中伸出头来回敬道:“女巫!!”他们继续前行。这个男的.在下一个路口转弯时,撞上了路中间的一头猪。要是这个男的能听懂那个女人的意思就好了。
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends,a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer ford "One of his friends asked."That is the talking clock.”the man replied.“How does it work!”
"Watch,”the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly,someone screamed from the other side of the wall,“Knock it off,you idiots It’s two 0’clock in the morning”
一个学生带他朋友们参观他的新公寓,甚是得意。“那个大铜锣和锤子是干什么用的?”他的一个朋友问他。“那玩意儿厉害了,那是一个会说话的钟”,学生回答。“这钟怎么工作的?”
他的朋友问。“看着,别眨眼了”,那学生走上前一把操起铜锣和锤子,拼命地敲了一下,声音震耳欲聋。突然,他们听到隔壁墙那边有人狂叫,“别敲了,你这白痴!现在是凌晨两点钟了!”
Give up your seat to a lady
Little Johnny says "Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady."
"You've done the right thing," says Mommy.
"But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap."
给女士让座
小强尼说:“妈妈,今天早上和爸爸在公车上时,他叫我让座给一位女士。”
妈妈说:“你做得很对呀。”
“但是,妈妈,我是坐在爸爸膝盖上的。”
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