英语笑话简短搞笑

英语笑话既能让我们快乐，也能让我们学到英语知识，何乐而不为呢?今天我们就一起来看看英语笑话简短搞笑吧!

英语笑话简短搞笑(一)

A man walked into a doctor's examining room

一个人走进一家诊所。

A:Put out your tongue.

伸出你的舌头。

B:OK.

好的。

Then he put out his tongue and the doctor looked at it quickly.

于是他伸出舌头，医生很快地看了一下。

A:You can put your tongue back now. It's clear what's wrong with need more exercise.

好吧，把舌头伸回去吧，你的病因很明显，你需要更多的运动。

B:But，doctor, I don't think...

但是，医生，我不认为……

A:Don't tell me what you think，I am the doctor，not you，I know what you need.I see hundreds of people like of them get any exercis sit in offices all day and in front of the television in the you need is to walk quickly for at least twenty mi-nutes a day.

不要告诉我你认为怎么样，我是医生，不是你。我知道你需要什么。我看过数以百计像你这样的病人。他们没有一个人锻炼过。他们整天坐在办公室里，晚上就坐在电视机前。你所需要的就是每天至少快跑20分钟。

B: don't understand.I...

医生，你不知道，我……

A:I don't want to hear any excuses. You must find time for you don't，you will get fat and have health problems when you are o1der.

我不想听任何理由。你应该抽出时间来运动，如果你不锻炼，那么当你老的时候，你就会变得很胖，并且有健康问题。

B:But I walk everyday.

但我每天都走路的。

A:Oh，yes，and I know what kind of walking that is. You walk a few feet from your home to the station，and a few more feet from the sta- lion to your office，and a few more feet fr om your office to a restaurant for much and back. That's not real walking. I'm talking about a walk in the park for twenty minutes every day.

喔，是的。我知道那是一种怎样的散步，你走几英尺的路，从家到火车站，又走几英尺从车站到办公室，然后走几英尺从办公室到餐馆中吃中饭再回来。那不是真正的散步。我所说的是每天在公园中散步20分钟。

B:(Shouting)Will you listen to me. doctor t I am a mailman and I walk for seven hour every day.

(叫喊着)请听我说，医生!我是一名邮递员，我每天得走7小时的路。

A:(Being silent for a moment) Put your tongue out again，will you?

(闷在那里半天不语)再把你的舌头伸出来，行吗?

英语笑话简短搞笑(二)

A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog cocked its leg, then urinated on its owner.

Calmly, the blind man reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog. A passerby who'd seen everything remarked：“That's extremely tolerant of you, especially after what he just did.”

“Not really,” came the reply. “I'm just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him in the nuts.”

一个盲人领着一只导盲犬站在十字路口处等着过马路。就在这个时候，导盲犬把腿一抬，开始往主人身上撒尿。

这个盲人十分平静地从口袋里拿出了一块饼干给狗吃。一个过路人刚好看到了这一切，很不解地说：“你的脾气真好，尤其是那只狗都做了这样的事情，你还给它饼干吃。”

“事实并非如此。”盲人回答说，“我只是想弄清楚它的嘴在哪里，这样一来，我就可以踢它的屁股了。”

英语笑话简短搞笑(三)

Tom’s Birthday

It was Tom’s birthday,and he was five years got quite a lot of nice birthday presents from his family,and one of them was a beartiful big drum.

“Who gave him thay thing?”answered Tom’s mother.

“Oh,”said his father.

Of course,Tom liked his drum very made terrible noise with is,but his mother did not father was working during the day,and Tom was in bed when he got home in the evening,so he did not hear the noise.

But one of the neighbours did not like noise at one morning a few days later she took a sharp knife and went to Tom’s house while he was hitting his said to him,”Hello,Tom,do you know,there’s something very nice inside your is a the frum and let’s find it.”

那天是汤姆五岁的'生日，他从家人那里得到了很多不错的礼物，其中有一件礼物是一只漂亮的大鼓。

“这是谁给他的呢?”汤姆妈妈问道。

“哦。”爸爸说。

当然，汤姆非常喜欢这个大鼓。虽然他敲鼓的声音很难听，但妈妈却从不在意。汤姆爸爸因为白天工作，而且当爸爸回家时汤姆已经睡觉了，所以爸爸并没有听见过这些噪音。

但是，他们的一位邻居非常不高兴。几天后的一个早上，当她又一次听到汤姆的噪音时，她带着锋利的小刀来到汤姆家：”嘿，汤姆，你知道吗你的鼓里有好东西，打开它，我们一起找找那好东西吧