爆笑英语笑侃笑话
搞笑英语笑话“写给上帝的信”到底写了什么呢,一起来看看吧!
无聊的课
One of my favorite teachers at Southeast Missouri State University in Cape Girardeau is known for his droll sense of humor. Explaining his ground rules to one freshman class, he said, "Now I know my lectures can often be dry and boring, so I don't mind if you look at your watches during class. I do, however, object to your pounding them on the desk to make sure they're running!"
在开普吉拉多市的东南密苏里州立大学上学的时候,我喜欢的几个老师之中有一个以他的幽默感而出名。给新生上头一节课,他给学生解释在他课上的纪律,他说:“我知道我的课经常会很枯燥乏味,所以我并不介意你们在课上看表。然而,我坚决不允许你们把表重重的摔在课桌上,以此来检查你的表是不是还在走。”
交通事故
A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign ... hit his car broadside, and knocked him cold. Passerbys pulled him from the wreck and revived him. He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics. Later, when he was calm, they asked him why he struggled so. He said, "I remember the impact, then nothing. I woke up on a concrete slab in front of a huge, flashing 'Shell' sign. And somebody was standing in front of the 'S.'
有个人开车行驶在上班的路上,一辆卡车闯红灯从侧面撞上了他的车,当时他就不省人事了。路旁的行人把他从车里拉出来并唤醒他。刚一醒过来,他就拼命的挣扎着,最后不得不用了药物才让他镇静下来。过了一会儿,他平静了,别人问他为什么要这么恐怖的挣扎,他说:“被撞之后我就什么都不知道了,当我醒过来,我发现我躺在了路边,前面是一个巨大的广告牌上面闪烁着‘壳牌’,但是有个人挡住了那个“S”。”
写给上帝的信
A little boy needed $50 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $50. When the post office received the letter to God, USA, they decided to send it to the president. The president was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the boy a $5 bill. The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read: Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington, D.C., and, as usual, those turkeys kept $45 in taxes.
有个小男孩非常需要50美元,他为此祷告了数周但是什么也没发生。后来,他决定写封信向上帝索要这50美元。邮局接到这封信,想了想觉得还是应该交给总统比较好。总统被逗笑了,于是指示秘书寄给小男孩5美元,因为他觉得5美元对于一个小孩来讲已经是不少了。小男孩收到了钱很高兴,给上帝回了一封感谢信,信里写道:尊敬的上帝,非常感谢你把钱寄给我。然而,我发现这些钱是通过白宫寄出的,因此,和往常一样,那帮家伙收了我45美元的.税。
班级、情人和蠢驴
Professor Tom was going to meet his students on the next day, so he wrote some words on the blackboard which read as follows: "Professor Tom will meet the class tomorrow." A student, seeing his chance to display his sense of humor after reading the notice, walked up and erased the "c" in the word "class." The Professor noticing the laughter, wheeled around, walked back, looked at the student, then at the notice with the "c" erased--calmly walked up and erased the "l" in "lass", looked at the flabbergasted student and proceeded on his way.
汤姆教授打算第二天与他的学生见面,因此他在黑板上写道:“汤姆教授明天将和大家见面”。一位学生看到这条通知后,觉得展示自己幽默感的机会来了,就走上前,将“class”中的“c”擦掉,教授听到笑声,转过身走回来,看了看那位学生,又看看被改动过的通知,不动声色地走上前,把“lass” 中的“l”擦掉,看了看那位目瞪口呆的学生,教授扬长而去。
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