让人爆笑不止的英语笑话
英语小笑话:想请一天假
Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff.""We're short-handed, Smith" the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off." "Thanks, boss," says Smith "I knew I could count on you!"
一天,史密斯去见他的客户部领导,“老板”,斯密斯说,“我们家明天要大搞清洁,我老婆需要我回去帮忙清洁阁楼和车库,搬搬挪挪什么的。”“斯密斯啊,你也知道,我们现在人手已经不够了”老板说,“明天的假我是没法给你批了”。“多谢老板,”史密斯说,“我就知道跟着您干准没错”。
英语小笑话:有效
Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor, the doctor gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well, and in fact, beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work. "Boss", he said, "The pill actually worked!" "That's all fine" said the boss, "But where were you yesterday?"
汤姆早上老起不来,所以上班总是迟到。他的老板非常生气,警告他如果他不能有所改善的话就炒他的鱿鱼。于是,汤姆去看医生,医生给了他一颗药丸并告诉他要在睡觉前服下这颗药。汤姆照医生的'话做了,睡得非常之好,事实上,他在早上闹钟响之前就起来了。汤姆从容不迫地吃完早餐,然后兴高采烈地开车上班去了。 “老板”,汤姆说,“那药真管用,我的睡眠好极了!” “是够管用的,”老板说,“问题是,昨天你人哪去了”?
英语小笑话:停车费
A businessman walked into a New York City bank and asked for the loan officer. He said he was going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000. The loan officer said the bank would need some security for such a loan. The business man then handed over the keys to a Rolls Royce that was parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checked out and the loan officer accepted the car as collateral for the loan. An employee then drove the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parked it there. Two weeks later the businessman returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest which came to $15.41. The loan officer said, "We do appreciate your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a bit puzzled. While you were away we checked and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5,000?" The business man replied: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for 2 weeks for 15 bucks?"
一个商人走进纽约一家银行询问信贷员。他说他准备出差去欧洲两个星期需要借款5000美金。信贷员说银行借款需要提供担保品。商人马上掏出停在银行门前的劳斯莱斯汽车的钥匙。一切手续办妥后银行信贷员接受了汽车做为贷款的抵押。店员把汽车开到银行地下车库并停放在那里。 两个星期后商人从欧洲回来,偿还了5000元借款以及15.41元的利息。信贷员问:“非常感谢您的光顾,这笔交易做得也很完美,但是我们有一个疑问,你离开后我们查了一下发现您是一个富翁。为什么您会不怕麻烦来这借5000元呢?” 商人回答:“除了您这我还能在纽约市的其他地方只需付款15元就能停车两个星期吗?”
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