英语幽默笑话带翻译的
1 、A young couple was on their way to get married when they had an accident and died. Now they were in front of St. Peter and the young lady asked if they could get married. St. Peter told them, he would have to get back to them with an answer. Around 30 days later St. Peter returns and tells the couple that they can get married in heaven. The young lady then asks St. Peter, “If things just don't work out can we get a divorce?" St. Peter looks at her and replies, " Lady it took me 30 days to find a preacher up here do you really think I am going to find a lawyer?!!"
一对年轻的夫妇在去结婚的路上出了车祸,双双死去了。于是,他们来到了圣徒彼得面前,妻子问是否她还可以和丈夫结婚,圣徒彼得告诉他们,关于这个问题他一有了结果就会回来找他们。差不多30天以后,圣徒彼得回来了,并且告诉他们可以在天堂结婚。妻子又问:“如果生活的不愉快,我们可不可以离婚呢?”圣徒彼得看着她,回答说:“夫人,我花了30天才找到个传教士,难道你真的希望我再去找个律师吗?”
2、On my first day of classes at my university I took a front-row seat in my literature course. The professor told us we would be responsible for reading five books, and that he would provide us with a list of authors from which we could choose. Then he ambled over to the lectern, took out his class book and began, "Baker, Black, Brooks, Carter, Cook..." I was working feverishly to get down all the names when I felt a tap on my shoulder. The student in back of me whispered, "He's taking attendance."
大学的第一天,文学课我坐在了前排。教授告诉我们这学期必须得读五本书,他提供我们可供选择的作者名单。随后他缓步走上讲台,拿出课本,“贝克、布莱克、布鲁斯、卡特、库克…”为了写下所有的名字,我不得不疯狂的`作着记录。这时有人轻轻的拍我肩膀,坐在我后面的学生悄悄告诉我:“他在点名呢。”
3、Our university newspaper runs a weekly question feature. Recently, the question was: "Whose autograph would you most want to have, and why?" As expected, most responses mentioned music or sports stars, or politicians. The best response came from a freshman, who said, "The person who signs my diploma."
我们大学的校报开办了一个每周一问的专栏。上周的问题是:“你最想要什么人的签名?为什么?”和预计的一样,大部分的回答都是歌星、体育明星或者政治家。但是,最优秀的答案来自一个一年级新生,他说:“在我毕业证上签字的那个人。”
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