逗趣经典英语笑话
看一些英语笑话,既能让我们开心,也能学到英语知识,今天我们就一起来看看逗趣经典英语笑话吧!
逗趣经典英语笑话(一)
他去吃早餐,他想要2片面包,服务员只拿了1片,他说“I want two pieces ",服务员听成了“I want to piss”(我想拉屎)。他又说“I want two pieces on my plate",然后服务员就骂他“you're a son of bitch”(你这狗·娘·养的)。
他认为服务员说他是“son of a beach(海滩)”。然后他又去吃饭了,服务员只拿了勺子和刀,没有叉子(fock)。他说“I want a fock”,服务员听成了“I want to fuck”,服务员回他说“everyone want to fu·ck",他又说“I want a fock on the table",服务员听成了“I want to fu·ck on the table"。回到房间,床上没有床单,他说“I want a sheet",服务员听成了“I wanna shit(屎)”。
最后他来到前台,工作人员向他说了句客套话“peace on you”,他却认为在骂他“piss on you。”,骂了人家一句“son of bitch“"我要回意大利!”
逗趣经典英语笑话(二)
The Rain
A small boy and his father were having a walk in the country when it suddenly began to rain very hard. They did not have their umbrella with them, and there was nowhere to hide from the rain, so they were soon very wet, and the small boy did not feel very happy.
For a long time while they were walking home through the rain, the boy was thinking. Then at last he turned to his father and said to him,“Why does it rain, Father? It isn't very nice, is it?”
“No, it isn't very nice, but it's very useful,Tom,”answered his father.“It rains to make the fruit and the vegetables grow for us, and to make the grass grow for the cows and sheep.”
Tom thought about this for a few seconds, and then he said,“Then,why does it rain on the road too, Father?”
下雨
一个小男孩和他的父亲正在乡间行走,突然下起了大雨。
他们没带伞,加上四下无处可以躲雨,所以很快他们浑身上下被淋湿了,小男孩感到很不好受。
他们在雨中朝家走去,有好一会儿,那个男孩一直在思索着什么。后来终于他朝父亲转过脸去,问他说:“爸爸,为什么天会下雨呢?下雨可不太好,是吧?”
“是呀,下雨是不太好,可是下雨也有很多有益的地方,汤姆。”父亲回答说。“老天爷下雨促使了为我们所食用的水果和蔬菜的生长,同样也促使牛羊所吃的`青草的生长。”
汤姆对父亲的这番话想了一会,然后说:“那么,父亲,老天爷为什么还要把雨下在路上呢?”
逗趣经典英语笑话(三)
A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined.
一个女人起诉一个男人诽谤。她指控这个男人骂她是头猪。男人被叛有罪并受到处罚。
After the trial he asked the judge, "This means that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?"
审判结束后,他问法官“这么说我可以管一头猪叫约翰逊夫人吗?”
The judge said that was true. "Does this mean I cannot call a pig Mrs. Johnson?" the man asked.
法官说事实是这样的。“那是不是说我可以管一头猪叫约翰逊夫人吗?”那个人问。
The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig Mrs. Johnson with no fear of legal action.
法官回答道他完全可以管一头猪叫约翰逊夫人,无需害怕采取法律行动。
The man looked directly at Mrs. Johnson and said, "Good afternoon, Mrs. Johnson."
男人马上看着约翰逊夫人说:“下午好,约翰逊夫人。”
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