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一天他和伙伴们练习射击，除了彼得其他人都没有问题。他射了九次，一次也没有命中目标。更多英语笑话尽在应届毕业生笑话网。

　　Reason of Punishment

One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do.

The mother exclaimed, But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didn't do?

The little girl replied, My homework.

　　惩罚的原因

一天，小女孩从学校回到家里，对妈妈说：妈妈，今天在学校里我因为一件我没有做的事情而受到惩罚。

妈妈激动地说：那真是太可怕了!我要跟你的`老师好好谈一谈，对了，你没有做过的那件事是什么?

小女孩回答说：我的家庭作业。

　　惭愧的士兵 Ashamed Soldier

Peter joined the army when he was eighteen, and for several months he was taught how to be a good soldier. He did quite well in everything except shooting.

One day he and his friends were practicing their shooting, and all of them were doing quite well except Peter. After he had shot at the target nine times and had not hit it once, the officer who was trying to teach the young soldiers to shoot said, You're quite hopeless, Peter! Don't waste your last bullet too! Go behind that wall and shoot yourself with it!

Peter felt ashamed. He went behind the wall, and a few seconds later the officer and the other young soldiers heard the sound of a shot.

Heavens! The officer said. Has that silly man really shot himself?

He ran behind the wall anxiously, but Peter was all right. I'm sorry, sir, he said, but I missed again.

彼得十八岁那年参了军，他需要参加几个月的学习以成为一名好士兵。彼得在其他方面都做得很好，但是射击不行。

一天他和伙伴们练习射击，除了彼得其他人都没有问题。他射了九次，一次也没有命中目标。这时，教新兵射击的教官说：彼得，你看来是没希望了，不要连最后一发子弹都浪费掉!去那堵墙后面用它向自己打一枪吧。

彼得感到非常惭愧。他走到那堵墙后面。几分钟后，教官和新兵们听到一声枪响。

上帝!教官叫起来，难道那个笨蛋真的朝自己开枪了?

　　诵读课

I had a schoolmate who had come into school at an age later than usual，and could hardly e was a book used by the leaners in reading calledDialogues between a Missionary and an was a poor performance，full of inconclusive arguments and other boy in question used to appear with this book in his hand in the middle of the school，the master standing behind him.

The lesson was to poor fellow，whose great fault lay in a deep toned drawl of his syllable and the omission of his stops，stood half looking at the book，and half casting his eye towards the right of him， whence the blows were to master looked over him，and his hand was ready.I am not exact in my quotation at this distance of time ;but the spirit of one of the passages that I recollect was to the following purport，and thus did the teacher and his pupil proceed：

，young man，have a care ;or I'll set you a swingeing task.(A common phrase of his.)

Pupil(making a sort of heavy bolt at his calamity，and neverremembering his stop at the wordMissionary)ionary Can you see the wind?

(Master gives him a aslap on thehcheek.)

Pupil(raising his voice to a cry，and still forgetting his stop)an No!

ds，young man!have a care how you provoke me!

Pupil(always forgetting the stop)ionary How then do you know that there is such a thing?

(Here a terrible thump.)

Pupil(with a shout of agony). Indian Because I feel it.

当年我有个同学，入学比常规的年龄要迟，而且几乎完全不会读书。那时有个学生用的阅读课本，叫做《传教士和印第安人的对话》。课本不怎么样，尽是不得要领的论说和一些老生常谈。那孩子常常手拿该课本出现在学校中央，身后站着教师。

授课即将开始。那可怜的学生的毛病在于他读音节时语调深沉地拖长腔并略去应有的停顿。他站立着，三心二意地看着书，一面向身子右边瞄去，因为打击将会来自那个方向。教师盯视着他，手已摆出了打人的架势。因为时隔已久，我的引述可能不很确切，但就我所忆，先生和学生的一次对话的要旨大致如下：

老师：年轻人，小心点;要不我可要让你狠狠吃点苦头。(这是他的口头禅。)

学生：(大难临头，身体猛然一摇闪，根本记不得在传教士一词后应该停顿。)传教士你能看见风吗?

(教师扇了他一耳光。)

学生：(提高了嗓音，几乎是在哭喊，但仍不记得要停顿)印第安人不能啊!

教师：该死!年轻人，小心点别惹我发火!

学生：(一如既往漏掉停顿)传教士那你怎么知道有这样一种东西呢?

(这时来了重重一击。)

学生：(痛苦地叫喊)印第安人因为我感觉到了。