简短幽默英语笑话
英语笑话“Can you speak English”大家快点来看哦。
一场特殊的足球比赛
Mike was late for school. He said to his teacher, Mr. Black, "Excuse me for my coming late, sir. I watched a football match in my dream."
"Why did it make you late?" inquired the teacher.
"Because neither team could win the game, so it lasted a long time." replied Mike.
麦克上学迟到了。他对布莱克老师说:“对不起,老师,今天早上我迟到了。因为我在梦里观看了一场球赛。”
“为什么它会让你迟到呢?”老师问道。
“因为这两个队都没有能力获胜,所以就持续的时间长了。”麦克回答说。
Reason of Punishment 惩罚的原因
One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do.
The mother exclaimed, But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didn't do?
The little girl replied, My homework.
一天,小女孩从学校回到家里,对妈妈说:妈妈,今天在学校里我因为一件我没有做的`事情而受到惩罚。
妈妈激动地说:那真是太可怕了!我要跟你的老师好好谈一谈,对了,你没有做过的那件事是什么?
小女孩回答说:我的家庭作业。
Boy, Oh Boy 让人无奈的孩子
When they're together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. one Saturday, I put my foot down. "All right, you two," I said sternly. "No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting."
As I turned to leave, I heard my son say, "C'mon, Steven, let's get dirty . "
我五岁的儿子和他的表弟在一起的时候,总要招来大乱。一个星期六,我开始抗议了。“好啦,你们两个,”我严厉地说,“不许叫喊,不许乱拿,不许哭闹,不许乱敲,不许取笑,不许扯淡,不许弄坏玩具,不许乱抓,不许打架。” 我刚转身要走,就听我儿子说:“来,斯蒂文,我们来把自己弄脏吧。”
Does He Bite 它咬人吗
Reggie: We have got a new dog. Would you like to come around and play with him?
Ron: Well, I don't know---does he bite?
Reggie: That's what I want to find out.
里基:我们又得到了一条新狗,你愿意过来和他玩一会吗?
罗恩:嗯,我不知道----它咬人吗?
里基:这正是我想要查明的。
To Buy a Video 买录像机
Amos asked his mother whether they could have a video.
I’m afraid we can’t afford one, sighed his mother.
But on the following day in came Amos, staggering beneath the weight of a brand-new video.
How on earth did you pay for that? gasped his mother.
Easy, Mum. replied Amos, I sold the television!
艾莫斯问妈妈他们是否能买一台录像机。
恐怕我们还买不起,妈妈叹息着说。
可第二天当艾莫斯回来时,他摇摇晃晃地搬着一台全新的录像机。
你究竟是哪儿来的钱买这东西?妈妈大吃一惊,喘着气说。
妈妈,这简单, 艾曼斯回答。我把电视机给卖了!
Can you speak English
去年春节回老家时,看到一个老外在向一个农民伯伯问路。只见那个老外一边说着生硬的中文,一边用手笔划,但那个农民伯伯却还是不明白。最后,那个农民伯伯说了一句让我至今难忘的话:“Can you speak English?”
how much
刚刚去营业厅冲话费,听到服务小姐说,how much?我愣了好久,没反应过来,心想英语都普及到这地步了?遂回答,50。他也愣了,又重复了一次,我这才听明白她刚才说的是,号码是?
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我们外国同事突然问我:你们中国人最爱用的外语口头禅是不是“what‘s up‘?感觉你们见面时常说“what‘s up‘,有时候自己对着电脑都会自言自语说,是受美国文化影响么?我想了半天是不是有这么回事,然后突然恍然大悟,对她说:我操!
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